House of Theodora

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A little tale about cornflakes and masturbation

It’s been a minute since John Kellogg preached a diet of his bland, corn cereal to ward off the masturbation demons.

We’ve come a long way since the 19th century, but there’s still a decent dose of stigma swirling around the topic of self-love. But listen up. Masturbation and exploration are healthy.

Indulge with me a little. When you order at a restaurant, you have a good idea of what you want. Our tastebuds are sensitive to different sensations, and we’ve had plenty of experiences in our life to refine our tastes.

Our erogenous zones are like our tastebuds. They need to experience different sensations to determine what feels good, and pleasuring yourself and exploring is a great way to discover this.

When we know what gives us pleasure, we’re more likely to be able to orgasm during sex with a partner. We can also communicate what we want and offer helpful cues like “I like pressure here” and “I like to be touched there.”

Masturbation also has a bucketload of other benefits–people swear by it for menstrual cramps, stress relief, mood enhancers, oh, and it’s just a lot of fun.

And despite what mainstream porn shows us, there’s no right way to masturbate. You may prefer standing, sitting, laying on your back or your stomach. Maybe you enjoy self-pleasure in the bath, in the shower, on the bed. Perhaps you use vibrators or dildos or fingers or hands or a combination of all. You do you.

And will you do me a favour? Next time you walk the cereal aisle and see those Corn flakes sitting on a shelf, pledge to masturbate. It’s a lot more fun than subjecting your tastebuds to cardboard.



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originally published in PerthNow, August 26, 2021