My dog and boundaries
My Dog and Boundaries
My dog has clear boundaries when it comes to bedroom activity. That sounds wrong but bear with me.
My partner and I only have to start kissing, and he will jump off the bed, give us a scowl, stroll onto the landing, stretch himself out, and stay there with his back to us.
I'm not sure why he developed these boundaries. Perhaps it was because he knows he can't get comfortable on the bed while it's rocking, or he finds the noises offensive; the point is we all need boundaries.
Creating boundaries is very important in a sexual relationship. Creating boundaries allows you to play within a safe space where you feel comfortable and enjoy yourself.
When you create your boundaries, you tell somebody, "I need you to know my limits and where I'm comfortable so that I, and we, can experience the most pleasure from this intimate relationship".
It shouldn't be seen as negative; a sexual experience is more enjoyable when you know the parameters you are playing in.
Your boundaries must be known, so talk to your partner about them. You also need to know your partner's boundaries. Discuss your limits outside the bedroom, and be clear about what you want and don't want.
While it's not recommended to have an initial conversation about boundaries in the moments before sex, it is good to have a quick check-in before you start playing to ensure you're still on the same page.
Remember, boundaries can shift and change, which is expected as you move through the months and years of sexual exploration and expression. It's also the reason you need to keep talking about your boundaries.
Who knows, one day, my dog might shift his boundaries and decide that the landing isn't quite far enough from the action.
Love,
Theodora xo