Starters

You may not consider your acting talents worthy of a BAFTA but dressing up and engaging in role play entices us to step out of our usual roles and let go. It can spark our imagination, and it encourages us to play. It helps to create a sense of fantasy and fun.

It can be beneficial in a long-term relationship where things may not be as exciting as in the so-called honeymoon phase. And it doesn’t have to be complicated. Simple power play roles can be really effective.

Probably one of my most favourite role plays that I’ve done involved me playing a high class escort. I get pretty involved when it comes to role play so I physically left the house and came back and knocked on the front door, as if I really were a babe for hire (I even had an envelope of money waiting for me, though it was fake money because my services would be out-of-this-world expensive. Obviously).

The Main Meal

The classic yes / no /maybe play menus are a great tool for opening the conversation around sex so I’ve created one just about role play. The beauty of creating these niche play menus, is that they encourage you to talk about different scenarios and really get creative about one particular area of play.

I’m trying to make these menus as simple as possible for you because I know that if we feel we have to put in too much energy–adding to our already busy lives–we’re prone to pushing play further down the priority list and we want to make sure it stays high up on our to-do.

This role play menu is simple, it gives you some role play ideas (and there’s space to write your own if you have some favourites), and there’s also a place to write down any costumes and props you may wish to include.

I hope you use this menu and have fun with a role play that you haven’t done before. And, remember that when you have finished your role play, engage in some aftercare with your lover.

Dessert

Aftercare

All our sexual play time should end in aftercare. Aftercare is a time for partners to wind down and feel secure and comfortable.

Our sexual experiences can bring up all kinds of emotions. We are human beings. Aftercare is a time to feel safety and closeness as if wrapped in an oversized, emotionally supportive jumper.

And there are some key ingredients to this post-coital closeness:

1) It’s intentional, so set aside time for it;

2) it’s vocal, which means you ask each other how you are feeling,

3) It needs to be discussed before play.

Other than that, it’s up to you what form it takes. It may be that you want to hug it out, dig into a bucket of ice cream, or put on your favourite tunes and have a lil’ dance party.

Aftercare is just as crucial for experiences with a new lover as it is for lovers who have seen the years together. And remember, it’s never too late to introduce it into your sexual experiences.

Love,

Theodora