The Spitting Play Menu

I remember the first time I gave someone a blow job. It was incredibly intimidating. I had no idea what I was doing, my hands didn’t know how to work with my mouth, and as most sexual experiences were for me back then, it was awkward.

Since then, I’ve racked up my hours doing this job, and what I’ve learned is there are different techniques, and as with any sex act, different people like different things.

But I have learnt two key ingredients for a good blowjob: enthusiasm and the turn-on that is optimum wetness through spitting.

I feel porn has done the sloppy blow job a great disservice to the givers among us. You watch a porno, and it looks more like a dick in a tsunami than just a beautifully moistened penis. So below is my take on the good spit.

Starters

Get comfortable

I’m hoping you had a read of my previous play menu, which was all about Setting the Scene. This applies to any sexual or intimate act; it’s about creating a comfortable space where you will both enjoy yourselves.

You do not have to go into the detail that I went through in the last play menu each time you’re being intimate, but the point of setting a scene is to think about what will make this experience great for you and your partner. It also encourages you to take the focus off an end goal and focus more on everything that comes before.

When it comes to spitting, we’re adding some more moisture, so if you decide to sit on a cushion that’s considered a family heirloom, make sure you’re happy for grandma’s lineage to be slightly soiled.

Also think about where you want to try this, and make sure you’re comfortable. Consider how to position yourself if you have neck, jaw, or knee issues. There’s no point doing it if you’re going to need to put in a neck brace.

• Is your lover sitting on a chair? If so, will you kneel in front and need a cushion?

• Is your lover on the bed? If so, will they sit on the edge or lie down?

• What is the best position you can be in to give you enough freedom of movement?

How’s the ending?

You want to be clear about whether the blow job is going to end in an orgasm or not. Do you want this person to come in your mouth or not? If so, are you happy to swallow or do you want to spit? Or do you want them to let you know where they’re close to orgasm and you can finish them off with your hand, and they can come elsewhere on your body? As the giver, you decide what you’re comfortable with and don’t be pressured into anything.

Main Meal

So we’re comfortable, prepared for spitting and know how it will end.

Be curious and Say it out loud

It doesn’t matter if you’re gifting this blow job to a new lover or to someone who could memorise the constellation of freckles on your back, ask them how it feels. If you haven’t told them you plan on spitting on them, let them know. 

Don’t be afraid to be imaginative and try something new. If you’re communicating well, your lover will tell you if they’re not enjoying what you’re doing.

Do a Lap Before Committing to a Location

Don’t go straight for the tower. You can start by dragging nails down the thighs, kissing or rubbing the inner thighs, and licking or scratching the balls (if your lover likes this). You want to build some anticipation. You’ll be spitting on their dick and making eye contact – this is a massive turn-on and the tension will drive them wild. 

The spit

I’m not going into all the different blow job techniques in this menu (we’ll save some for later!), so you’re using your method and incorporating some sexy spitting.

Have you ever been in a public toilet and heard someone hocking a loogie? We won't do that unless your partner has a particular fetish for hocking a loogie. Instead, try to produce some saliva subtly. Pool it in the back of your throat. We’re not going for a spray when we spit; it’s more of a sexy stream. 

Once you’ve got the saliva in the back of your mouth, bring it to the front and try to push it to your lips gently. It’s kind of like manoeuvring a piece of chewing gum. And while you’re doing this, use your hands to explore and make eye contact with your lover. They will be hot with anticipation.

If this is your first time with the spit, it can be tricky to aim, so I suggest you bring yourself close enough to release it in a steady stream. You don’t have to try and put a truckload of spit on the penis (as I said before, this ain’t no porno) just a bit so you know how it feels, how it lands and then incorporate your hands. You also don’t want too much because you’ll find it’ll start running down your arm and onto Nanna’s tapestry cushion.

With practice, you can move further away and make eye contact while doing it (Hot AF).

Dessert

Based on what you discussed previously, after the blow job, complete with some spitting cherry-on-top action, you can continue with your playtime.

Don’t forget when you’re finished to work in your favourite aftercare – ice cream? a movie? a dance party? Take some time to be intimate without sex.

You might find you have some mixed feelings about introducing spitting. You might feel a bit “dirty”. Our social conditioning tells us that spitting and being kinky is for sluts, and I say, fuck yeah, be as slutty as you want. I mean, who knew spitting could be so damn sexy? My private school headmistress would be turning in her grave right now. Sorry, not sorry, Mrs Jones.