Why we need to talk about sex
Let's talk about sex, baby. Salt-n-Pepa pushed out these lyrics in the '90s, and I wish we could say that 30 years later, we're talking about it. But we're still too scared to talk about it.
There have been complaints made about the column I write for a weekly newspaper, some don't like me very much. Or rather, don't like what I write. But I'm not the enemy; talking openly about sex and intimacy is healthy and essential.
There is a lot of misinformation and a lack of understanding of sexuality.
We struggle with boundaries and communication; we don't understand how to close the orgasm gap and why we feel pain during sex; we grapple with feelings of shame around our bodies and kinks.
Some of us don't know the difference between a vulva and a vagina. Some of us don't feel comfortable prioritising our pleasure. Surely that's all worthy of discussion?
I know exactly what some of you are thinking: what about the kids? But kids are most days exposed to something that either skirts around the topics of sex or that talks directly about it. So if they're curious and you're not talking about it, they're going straight to the internet.
I teach my kids about consent, boundaries and safety; I teach them the correct anatomical terms for their genitalia to develop a healthy relationship with them. I teach them about genders and the many beautiful ways people make families. And I teach them to respect people's differences.
Everyone is entitled to their own opinions. What you read in these columns are my opinions, and at times, you might not like them. That's fine. But as the lyrics go, 'Don't be coy, avoid, or make void the topic, cuz that ain't gonna stop it.'