40 questions for your lover

Since I was young I’ve loved Christmas and with two children I’ve always thrown myself into the magic of it all. We’re very fortunate in that my mum and my partner’s mum are like long lost sisters so we all come together at our house for a big lunch and celebration. There’s always beautiful food, too much alcohol and with three grandparents and with one great grabdparent still living, my kids have a rollicking time and can never decide which presents to open first.

But.

It’s also a day where I spend most of the time running around filling people’s drinks, checking on the food and mostly my attention is captured by things, instead of soaking up the company. 

This year, due to rhe lack of strength in my right wrist,  I have had to delegate a lot of the prep to my mum and in-laws. In fact, everyone this year is doing something, including my younger brother who usually likes to shirk these kinds of responsibilities. 

And I’m really looking forward to having more time to just be with family but I’ve been thinking about ways to make it feel even more connected and fun and in my brainstorming, I came across this:

“A question is more than just a way to fill silence. It is the recognition that every person is infinite, that even your closest loved ones are never fully knowable. Questions are the clothes of curiosity and smoke signals for empathy. A good question is our humble response to the impossible mystery of another human being.” Ezra bookman wrote this and he’s borrowed from a few famous quotes but I love it. I am a very big fan of listening and asking thoughtful questions instead of hearing the sound of my own voice.

This year, I am going to print out questions and pop them under the plates on the table but for this play menu, I’m taking it a step further and giving you 40 questions that you can ask to create a more intimate experience. There’s four pages of questions in business card format so you can print them out, cut them up and do what you want with them.

If you’re coupled up you can do this sitting together by the tree on Christmas Eve (which I’m going to do, too). There are plenty of questions for lovers, friends and family.