Using sex toys with a partner

It may be controversial, but I’m going to say it anyway. Sex toys are one of the best inventions.

And they’ve come a long way since I bought my first one 20 years ago. These days they are just as much art as they are aides.

They come in materials like glass and crystal, some are confetti-filled, and others –even though they may be battery operated–are just beautiful sleek creations worthy of a perch on Grandma’s mantel.

And thankfully, the industry has awakened to calls for toys with all genders and orientations in mind, so it’s possible to find something for all bodies.

We’re used to hearing about the advantages of using vibrators while masturbating, but let’s talk about using vibrators during partnered play because this is seriously underrated.

Now, friends of my partner who secretly stalk my articles, this is not your invitation to dissect any misguided shortcomings you think my partner may be exhibiting at your catch up at Ronnie Nights.

Using toys during playtime is not a measure of sexual satisfaction with your partner.

Toys are not in competition with a lover; they are inanimate objects and an accessory to an experience with a lover.

Owning a sex toy or two (or 20, like me) allows you to explore what gives you pleasure, and because of the sheer variety on the market, you can find something that fits you (more on that in a few weeks).

So, if you don’t own a toy, go out and get one. And if you do, suggest a little playtime with your partner to explore what it can do.

And remember, there is no right or wrong way to incorporate toys into your sex life as long as it brings you pleasure.

Originally published in PerthNow , September 23 2021