The rocket science of communication
Do you ever hear comments like, “I shouldn’t have to tell them how to pleasure me!” and wonder what the hell they are on about?!
Our bodies are a diverse labyrinth of pleasure zones. There’s no map to navigate the nuances of a lover’s body. What is a delicious sensation for one may be an uncomfortable feeling for another.
Imagine walking into a bar and asking for a drink without any specifics. The bartender takes a punt and serves you a whisky neat because that’s what the person before you ordered.
But you hate whisky; it reminds you of some fun but terrible mistakes made in your high school years when you were none the wiser.
Hot intimacy usually comes with a good swig of communication, even though you rarely hear communication being called ‘sexy’. Our desires and needs change, which means communication is a constant dance of exploring and learning.
This is not rocket science. You’re thinking to yourself: “Wow, communication matters. Mindblowing”. But talking about sex can be challenging and awkward, and sometimes you’re wondering, “how will my partner react to me wanting to use this sparkly butt plug?”
Perhaps you think those in long term relationships, who leave the door open when they pee, should be more comfortable discussing kinks.
But the more comfortable you feel with a partner doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll be able to broadcast your inner fantasies over the PA.
Keep the communication channel open by chatting about it over dinners; you can also fill out lists of activities you’d like to add to your playtime.
While opening the dialogue may seem a little confronting at first, creating a space to discuss your desires is liberating. It opens up an array of possibilities for enriching your pleasure.
Download our free YES/NO/MAYBE play list to help you communicate what you want.